Anticipation.. antici-pay-ay-tion

I really need Carly Simon singing this in the background.

It's been a while. It was a little bit touch and go for me there for a few weeks. I broke down, went to the doctor.. I never go when I should..I always wait until crisis time. And it was. I probably should have been hospitalized, in hindsight, but I'm as stubborn as they come.

Anyway, so I'm starting to feel better. That deep depression is finally settling down.. Finally. I'm still sad some days. I'm still trying to fit it all together in a nice, neat little package that I'm quite sure can't really be accomplished, but I'm finally seeing some light.

I'll see more light in March. I will be meeting my sisters for the first time. I will also be meeting their stepsister who grew up with them, and in turn, with my mother. I simply can't wait.

I'm terrified. Planes in general make me want to lose my lunch, I'm scared I'll be the unlucky one who gets the flight that goes down. I'm such a pessimist that way. I'm scared of seeing my sisters. I'm excited to see my sisters. I have every other emotion out there known to man to see my sisters.

God, it makes me cry to just think about it. And not in a bad way, for once.

Awesome.

Oh, and by the way? I'd snowshoe to Alaska or Greenland to see my sisters, don't get me wrong, but the fact that it's Hawaii? Come on, how frickin' cool is that?

that's frickin' cool.